The Masterplan
by LiesjeeeWxX
Summary: Hi I'm Eleanor Saunders, I'm your average sixth year Gryffindor and I play in the quidditch team. So I think that's enough for introductions yeah? Oh wait! I should probably mention this too: I am head over heels in love with James Sirius Potter.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: everything and anything you may recognize belongs to the amazing J.K Rowling!

Hi, I'm Eleanor Saunders. I'm your average sixth year Gryffindor. I play in the Gryffindor quidditch team (Oooooooh… Aaaaaah) Yes yes I know I'm awesome, my best friends are in the quidditch team too. They're all in the Wotter clan. It is almost impossible not to be though, what are those people? Rabbits? Yeah what more is there to tell about me? Uhm I'm named after a Beatles song, they are this bad ass muggle band. Oh and I should tell you that I'm completely and utterly insane because my best friend is Rose Weasley (who has a really bad temper) and my other best friend (Yes you can have two! Don't be mean to me!) is Albus Potter and he happens to have quite a hand in getting Rose angry.

My life is never boring… Oh wait a few Slytherins are approaching, let's practice my death glare shall we?

Oooooh they were almost scared! They hissed at me. Like, seriously? Hissing is for losers. I wish I could roar. That would be so awesome! Then they would go like ssssssssss sounding like the pathetic losers they are. And I would go like ROOOOAAAAAAAAAAAWR and they would run away. Pussies.

Okay I shall inform you that we have now arrived at the great hall. We are here for dinner. I sit down and start filling my plate. "Hi El" Rose says as she sits herself next to me.

"ROOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR" Hmmm it still needs some work…

She just looks at me and then starts to fill her own plate.

Do you think I should be worried? She seems to think this is normal behavior for me.

Okay by now there is a first year dangling from the ceiling in just his underwear, covered in glitters while singing some weird song about being a virgin? I assume this is the work of Fred Weasley the second and Louis Weasley. They are cousins.

Oh did I mention those two weirdo's are my friends too? Well they are.

By now the whole quidditch team is sitting with me and Rose. Let's do a quick introduction shall we? Yes we shall. So let's start with the most gorgeous guy on the entire planet.

James Sirius Potter. He is the seeker and the captain. He is in seventh year now.  
Then there is Fred and Louis they are the beaters (and womanizers but that's beside the point)  
And then you have Dylan Wood, Rose and me as chasers.  
And last but not least, Albus as keeper.  
Yes I know it should be illegal to have this many family members in one quidditch team but really, you don't have a lot of options in Gryffindor outside the Wotter clan.

So, I love my team, they are like family (hehe get it?)

Yeah I know I'm a retard thank you very much.

So I think that's enough for introductions yeah? Oh wait! I should probably mention this too: I Eleanor Rigby Saunders, am head over heels in love with James. Who has the most beautiful girlfriends all of the time. Sulk.

**So that was the first chapter, please R+R? **

**And be gentle English is not my first language.. **


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: Again, I own nothing =(

Chapter 2

Grr.. I'm going to KILL Rose, I'm going to rip her throat lion style! Why am I so upset with my dear best friend you may ask? I have multiple reasons:

She set up one of our friends, Georgina Parker, up with James

She woke me up to tell me this at SEVEN O CLOCK IN THE FREAKING MORNING

She did this by jumping up and down my bed

"Rose, I'm only going to say this once, I am not a morning person so… GET OFF OF ME IN THIS INSTANT."

"Jeez I'm sorry El. But don't you think Georgina and James are soooo cute together?"

No I don't

"Yeah sure."

Okay so one thing you must know about me: I never ever lie. It's just I have a few rules when it comes to lying. Like it doesn't count as lying if it's half true. And I think James is cute.  
So it's not a lie. Got it? Good!

"Okay Rose" I said "Let's just get down to breakfast then yeah?"

"What? Of course not! It's Saturday dummy! We don't have practice until eleven!"

"ROOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!" and I lunged for her throat.

A few hours later we were walking towards quidditch practice. I was looking forward to it. It was the first actual training this year. Try outs don't count.

"Alright team" James said after we all walked out on the pitch "we're going to do a couple of laps first we must all be in shape"

Okay so I don't really like running.. But I guess it's for the best because James is a genius so…

"Let's say 20 laps around the pitch?"

WHAT! Is he insane? I'm going to drop dead to the floor after 3 laps!

The team sounded something like this: "no" "o my god" "James! You've got to be kidding me"

Insert many groans there too.

After a while I got tired of the whole thing so… "ROOOOOAAAAAAAAAWR"

What? Don't look at me like that. I had a rough morning okay!

"Good Ellie, I'm glad that at least you have the spirit"

Swoon. James=hottttt

So twenty laps later… "Rose! I can't feel my legs"

She was lying face down in the grass and she didn't move. What if she is dead!

I started crawling my way over there when James says "Okay come on everybody get your brooms"

"James" I said "I really, really, really cannot fly after this. I think I'm just going to go inside and die right now"

He looked at me.

I blinked.

He narrowed his eyes.

I stood up and got my broom. Roawr?

We'll if you are interested. We're all back in the common room. Alive and well, slightly. I haven't managed to drag myself up the stairs and take a shower just quite yet so I smell like… mud, wet hair, sweat, sheep (don't even ask) and grass.

Rose was writing her potions essay, little nerd that she is. Gotta love her though.

I am starting to get bored now.

The portrait hole opens James and Georgina stumble in giggling like maniacs. (When I said friend about Georgia earlier, I meant Rose's friend, I hate her guts).

My heart sunk a little at this. James never really talked to his playthings.

Okay now they're snogging. So I did the only thing I could do to make this situation less painful. For me, that is. I shot a jellylegs jinx at Georgina and ran upstairs. Only to be followed by Rose a few seconds later.

"Hey honey" she says "Er.. What was that for?"

"What?" I ask innocently, she raises an eyebrow at me.

"Okay, okay, I'm in love with James okay?"  
She looks absolutely flabbergasted. "since when?"

"F-freshman year? I-I think?"

"Ahh that's SO cute! Let's make a plan to get you and James together yeah?"

I look at her. "How are we supposed to do that?"

"You don't think him and Georgina are actually gonna last do you?" she asks me with a look upon her face as if I'm stupid.

"N-no" I say "But what's the point of getting him and me together then?"

"Ooooh no, we're not getting the two of you together. He's going to fall in love with you silly"

Great. My best friends gone mental. Took her long enough.

So a couple of hours and a lot of thinking (ouch) later we came up with this master plan:

Get Georgina and James to break up (it was a stupid idea in the first place)

Give El a makeover to make her look absolutely gorgeous so James doesn't think she's his sister anymore.

Get El to go out with someone else so James gets jealous.

El is going to make sure the poor guy breaks up with her and James is going to comfort her.

I, Rose Weasley, am going to plan the wedding =D

That sure as hell seems like a lot of work doesn't it?


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I love my life. Have I ever mentioned that? Georgina just broke up with James, I live in an enchanted castle and the zip that has been on my nose since the start of the summerbreak SEVEN weeks ago has disappeared. Hurray! I know. Who actually says that right?

So yeah I love my life. By now I'm bouncing through the halls singing Lucy in the sky with diamonds. You gotta love the Beatles. Seriously, I would marry John Lennon right away. You know.. if he wasn't dead.. and if I wasn't in love with James and stuff.

It's Monday morning by the way. Hmmm strange, nobody seems to think it's weird that I'm bouncing and singing on Monday morning. They must know I'm bubbly by nature.

I run into a wall. Stupid wall! Why didn't you move! I look up in the wall's face.

"Oh hi. I'm sorry I didn't see you there" Okay so I didn't run into a wall but into a very good looking Ravenclaw. This morning is getting better and better don't you think?

"Hi, no matter. My name is John, you're in my charmsclass are you not?"

"Euhm I guess I am. I'm Eleanor. But actually call me that and I'll have to kill you so.. Call me El" I say with a big smile on my face.

Hmmm he's looking slightly freaked out by now.

"Okay El, I guess I'll see you around."

"Yeah bye"

"Bye"

Only seconds later I get jumped by Rose.

"OH MY GOD! We're you just talking to John McLaggen! He's soooo dreamy!"

"Yeah I guess."

"You could use him for step 3 in our masterplan!"

"Yeah… Shouldn't we do step 2 first though?"

I really, really regret I said that now. I am currently sitting in a chair with a full bodybindcurse on me.

Rose decided it was a good idea to call in the help of her cousin Dominique. The girl is part Veela and obsessed with everything that has to do with beauty. Freaky right? What kind of girl DOES that!

So when Rose and Dom started approaching me with all sorts of creepy equipment in their hands and really scary grins on their faces. I ran. So far my Griffyndor courage I guess but can you blame me? They were looking positively deranged!

When I ran they put a full body bind curse on me! And now they have been working on me for hours. I can't even glare at them I am so frustrated.

"Okay" Dom says "we're going to take the curse off of you but you've got to promise that you won't attack us okay?"

Finally!

"Yeah" Rose says "just look in the mirror you'll be grateful"

They take the curse off of me.

"ROOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR"

Rose just raises an eyebrow. Okay so I still have to practice on that but it's definitely getting somewhere!

I look in the mirror. Okay so I'm not naturally a cocky person but… now I look sort of okay!

My brown hair that is always in a ponytail is now hanging down in slight curls. My eyes are lined with some black eyeliner and that makes them look even more blue. My skin is still the same pale color but they added some blush to it.

I think I'm ready for step 3 y'all!

"Okay" Dom starts, she's looking slightly panicky.

"Don't get mad at us but… We'."

"What did you do" I ask. Okay I'm terrified now! Pity me! DO IT!

They open my closet.

All of my baggy jeans are gone! NOOOOOOOOOO! Life why do you hate me!

Only the really tight ones are still in here! And skirts.. and dresses.

I turn around. My eye probably twitching like crazy by now, judging the scared looks on their faces.

"It will look really good?" Why does that sounds like a question Dom. Oh my god I hate them.

"Well" I say "It's okay I guess. I'll just put out my outfit for tomorrow."

I grab one of my skirts and a blouse and…  
"Rose… WHERE are my chucks?"

"We… we sort of replaced them with.. heels?"

""

Yeah! They are looking scared! Whoop whoop! Oh wait. Chucks, right! Glare.

"Just wear them okay" Dom says "If it's bad we'll just give you your sneakers back okay?"

I grumble for a little bit but sure.

The next morning I put on my skirt.  
"Rose? What is Lily's skirt doing here?"

"No that's yours honey, we made it a little shorter. Even I don't wear it knee length!"

"roawr" I say miserably.

I put on the rest of my clothes and the shoes that are probably going to kill me. I walk out of the room and… Fall down the stairs.

This is going to be a GREAT day.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Okay so I get up and look into the deviously handsome face of one James Sirius Potter. Isn't that about the sexiest name you have ever heard? Yeah? I thought so.

"Whoa are you alright there?"He started. I look him in the eye "Elle?" He asks flabbergasted.

"Yes?" He looks at me like I have just grown a mustache or something but I haven't! have I?

"What? Have I grown a mustache or something?" Yeah I tend to repeat what I think a lot.

He chuckles "No I just noticed you're a girl"

Jeez thanks.

"Great. Well I'm gonna go down to the great hall so…"

"Yeah I'll join you"

SQUEEEEEEL He's gonna eat breakfast with ME! Yeah okay so he does that every day but now it's different because the rest of the team isn't here.

"Oi James! Wait up!" I hear Freddie yell.

Seriously karma hates me. What do you think I did in my past lives? Yeah I don't wanna know either.

I turn around to say hi to Fred, I mean I'm still a nice person although he ruined my date with my future husband.

I turn around and Fred stumbles backwards  
"E-El? Are you feeling okay? You're wearing… make-up. Where are your chucks dude?"

I raise an eyebrow at him (it took me all summer to learn how to do that but I think it was worth it)  
"You know Fred, I'm a girl… So I can totally wear heels if I want to. "

"Yeah.. Of course you can! Yeah! Totally. You can wear extremely short skirts too! I mean. You've got great legs! They're all girly and stuff… Yeah! I uhmmm I'll go now Byyyye"

Jeez what's his problem?

"I wonder what his problem is"  
Okay that wasn't me repeating my thoughts that was JAMES, he is soooo my soulmate.

I look up in his face, that was a bad idea because now I don't have an answer ready. So I stare. And fall down the stairs. AGAIN.

He lifts me up. SQUEEEL my future-husband-and-father-of-my-children-but-doesn't-know-that is touching me!

Okay Karma thanks for loving me, I love you too. Really. Not as much as I love James but pretty darn close! 

"Er El, are you sure you want to wear those shoes?" James says.

"Yes, I have to try or they won't give me my chucks back" I sigh.

James looks at me with a pitying look on his face "Yeah I know how you feel" He says 

"Oh really?" I ask raising an eyebrow at him, "Did your best friend steel your shoes with her cousin and replace them with killing machines like these?"

"Er no.. But once, they stole all of my Cookie Dough and replaced it with Strawberry Cheesecake instead, saying I should try more flavours. I flipped of course but I ended up liking both flavours!"

He looks at me grinning like a maniac. My future husband likes… Ben and Jerry's?

"El close your mouth you're gonna catch flies!"

I stare at him. "You're favorite flavor is Cookie Dough?" I ask him

"Er yes" he says "Is that bad?"

I shake my head forcefully. "Cookie Dough" I begin speaking slowly. "Is the best thing in the entire world."

He grins his heartbreaking grin at me "Wow, we're a lot alike El! You could be my sister"

My heart sinks to my stomach at this, I'm his little sister, great.

"Great" I say with a fake smile plastered on my face "Let's get down to breakfast yeah? I'm HUNGRY!" I start skipping (because it's the coolest thing ever and it is way faster than walking) and I trip because of my shoes that really wish to murder me.

I fall into a person and when I look up I see it is a slytherin.

"Watch where you're going you stupid gryffindor or I'm gonna hex your brains out!" He yells at me

""

"Aaaah" he squeeks in a very girly way and starts running. "She's crazy! Come on Zabini!"

His very attractive blackhaired friend follows him running down the hallway. Seriously? I don't understand what Rose sees in Scorpius Malfoy, he is such a pussy.

"Nice one El. Almost thought you were really going girly on me" James winks at me and my stomach flutters with hippogriffs. Yes I know it's weird but I hate butterflies. And hippogriffs flutter too right?

I was about to stuff my face with food when I thought better of it. I was supposed to be all charming now and make James fall in love with me. But… Meh.

And I start stuffing my face.

I feel someone slid in the seat beside me but I don't bother to look who it is. I LOVE scrambled eggs.  
I feel the same someone viciously pinch my arm.

"Ow what did you do that for!" I yelp. But because my mouth is still full it probably sounded more like 'Ou ad odo etfoo?'

"Did you think Dom and I did all this work on you so you can act like a pig with James right beside you?" Rose hisses in my ear.

"No…."

"No, act like a lady then!" she hisses furiously. Why am I friends with this girl?  
I stare at her. Ladylike? Who is she kidding.

"Okay TRY to act like a human then if not a lady. Not like a pig. You got hands for a reason you know.

Yeah.. So I can hold James' hand, and stroke his cheek.. and… She seems to know that I'm drifting of. So she snaps her fingers in front of my face "focus!"

"You know, I really want to learn how to play the guitar" I say out loud.

"What the hell is a guitar" Rose asks.

"I could teach you" comes a voice from behind  
I make a very unattractive squeaking sound and turn around to see Josh what's his face standing there.

"Oh hi!" I say "Yeah that'd be great sometime."

"Great" he says grinning wildly "It's a date"

I see James clenching his fist in a very brotherly way out of the corner of my eye.

I just smile. "Shall I walk you to charms then?" he asks

"Yeah sure" I say, "I'll see you at quidditch practice James! And I'll see you in a minute Rose, Bye guys!" And I stand up and reach for my bag only to see that Josh already has it.

"Let's go" he says smiling.

I guess step 3 is getting somewhere, now all I have to do is making James realize he wants me. And NOT as a little sister preferably.


	5. Chapter 5

"Hey El" Rose says as she plops down on the couch next to me on Friday evening.

"Hel-" I start to say but Rose interrupts me.

"So I was thinking, we should totally work on the plan for.. You know who."

"VOLDEMORT?" Oh my god! My BEST friend has made a plan to make the evillist wizard ever return? Yes evillist is a word. I knew it! You can't trust anyone! Oh my god she's gonna drag me into this and I'll end up in Azkaban for like FOREVER!

"No you twit! I meant for you and James!"

"Oh yeah… Ah I understand now that totally makes more sense." I smile a little at this and she just eyes me warily.

"Soooo…" she continues "Our first Hogsmeade weekend is coming up next week. And we should totally make Josh ask you to go with him."

"Can't I just ask him?" She eyes me as if I'm stupid, or like I have grown a mustache…  
Should I start waxing my upper lip?

"El" she snaps "stop the internal babble and focus! "

Sigh, this is gonna be a looong night.

After hours of talking about how I was going to seduce Josh, some methods including a lap dance and a banana, I finally got to sleep.

I had horrible nightmares about Rose who tried to get Voldemort to come back alive. After a few hours I get woken by said Rose. She's jumping on my bed.

"ROSE, get OFF of me!"

"I don't think so" she said in a sing song voice

I growled and then rolled out of bed "Why am I friends with you?"I grumble

"Because I'm awesome" she says in a matter of fact tone

I just grumble a little bit.

"El just get dressed, we're going to the library"

I look at het funnily "I'm sorry, what?"

"You. Me. To the library. NOW."

"WHAT! It's Saturday, what on earth are we supposed to do in the library?"

"Seduce Josh. Duh."

"What makes you think he'll be in the library"

She raises an eyebrow at me "He's a ravenclaw"

True enough.

"I can't go to the library." I say "I never go there, it'll be suspicious. People will think I'm going to be doing my homework this year!"

Rose looks at me. I blink. She raises an eyebrow. I get up to get dressed and go to the library.

Some griffyndor I am huh?

We arrive at the library and I feel completely uncomfortable. Rose insisted I wore make up and some ridiculously short skirt and I felt like a Barbie. Seriously the girl is using me as a make-up doll. 

"Okay" She says "How are you going to catch You-know-who's attention and seduce him?"

"You expect me to seduce Voldemort!" I shriek, is she insane?

She raises an eyebrow at me "What is it with you and Voldemort lately, I was talking about Josh."

"What is it with _you _and Voldemort lately!"I ask her suspiciously

She just looks at me blankly.

"Okay" She says "You're going to sit across from where he is sitting. When you get up you're going to walk over to a shelve near him and you're going to reach for a book that is on a shelve too high okay?"

"Err sure", Miss I-don't-make-sense-whatsoever.

Sooo… of course Rose' masterplan went disastrously wrong. I ended up falling over while I was jumping up and down to reach a shelve that was too high, in a very seductive way I might add.

Josh helped me up and ended up asking me out but that wasn't enough to cool Rose's temper.

"WHAT ON EARTH WERE YOU THINKING! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO STRECH A LITTLE, SHOW OF YOUR LEGS AND HE WAS GONNA HELP. AND WHAT DO YOU DO? JUMPING UP AND DOWN LIKE SOME LOON-"

Sigh. This has been going on for quite some time and I have zoned out for a bit.

"Rose, seriously, he asked me out didn't he?"

She just glared and muttered something about me 'missing the point' and 'ruining her amazing plans'

A few hours later. We're sitting in the common room when all of a sudden an owl flies in. Yuk.

I hate owls. Have I ever mentioned that? Oh merlin's lacy underwear it's heading for me!

The owl drops a letter in my lap and simply leaves. How kind!

The letter says

_Dear Eleanor, _

_How are you sweety? I haven't heard much from you all term. I hope you're okay.  
I have some bad news honey. I fear our beloved rabbit Mr. Cuddles has.. passed on. He's in a happy place now honey. When you're back for Christmas we'll buy a new rabbit!  
Please write me back soon_

_Lots of love,  
Mum _

I stare at the letter with a blank face. Mr. Cuddles? Dead? He couldn't be! With his cute little twitchy nose and weird chewing sounds and.. and…

I'm crying my eyes out. Like bawling.

James just walks in and sees me. "El! El honey what's wrong? Shhhshh it'll be allright." He's hugging me. *tiny squeal* what? I'm sad

"Mr.. Mr C-Cuddles" I manage. I must be looking attractive now. With puffy eyes, a red face and snot running down my nose. Yummy.

"Err who is Mr. Cuddles?" James asked me

"My rabbit. It died." I sniffed a couple of times. I was okay again. You can call me shallow but hey! I'm getting a baby rabbit for Christmas!

"Oh I'm sorry" He says looking sincere "I had a goldfish once, it died too. I still miss him sometimes…" He wondered off for a little bit. I'm looking at him with surprise. He is opening up to me! Yay!

Of course Rose decided to barge in right in the middle of this amazing moment.

"Hi El. Do you smell soup? I smell soup. Hm weird don't you think. Haha. Yeah. Hey why is your face all runny and stuff?"

"My rabbit died" I say miserably

"Oh isn't that just dandy! I could use some chocolate right now. Yeah chocolate sounds go-"

"Scorpius got another girlfriend didn't he?"

"Yeah… But pffft what is it to me? I mean like, pfff, I don't care he's stupid. And he looks like a Barbie. And his eyelashes look like they belong to a cow!"

Ahh you got to love my life. I have to go find a cure for Rose's heartbreak right now.

"Come Rose. Let's get you to the kitchens."

"Can I come?" James asks

I look at him. "What?" He asks "I'm a teenager I'm always hungry"

Once down in the kitchens I quickly downed a bottle of firewhiskey. Don't look at me like that it seemed a good idea at the time.

"I am the Eggman, wooooooooooh, You are the Eggman wooohooooo, I AM THE WALRUS Googoogjoob!"

"El! Come off the table this instant!" Rose hisses. James is looking at me funny.

I get off of the table. "J-James, Jaaames, James, you look funny" I slur sitting down on his lap.

"Do I now?"

"Yes" I giggle "You've got three heads silly where have you gotten those."

He raises an eyebrow.

There is an awkward silence.

"Riiiiight" Rose says. "Let's get back yeah?"

I get up of James' lap and throw up all over the place.

You got to love my life right? I love you too Fate I love you too.


	6. Chapter 6

**DISCLAIMER if you still think anything here belongs to me… you need professional help =) **

Besides the extreme hangover today is quite a good day. Scared the shit out of a couple of first years (They're so stupid they could've seen me coming), Rose is doing my homework, yes everything is quite peaceful.

Albus walks in and I remember that I haven't spoken much to him in the past couple of weeks. So I jump up bellowing "ALBUS" and jump in his arms.

I obviously scared him to death because he let out a very girlish shriek and drops me to the floor.

"Oof."

"Woops sorry El. Didn't see you coming there."

"That's quite alright people tend not to. "

"I bet" He smiles "Haven't seen you around in ages, what have you been up to?"

"err" I say not sure if I should let him in on the plan to make sure his brother wants to marry me and let me bare his future children.

"We're working on a plan to woo James" Rose says

I raise an eyebrow. Like seriously? Woo?

Albus chuckles "Isn't it supposed to be the other way around though?"

"Albus" I say "That's just downright sexist!"

"True enough" He says "How's the plan getting along so far?"

"We're already at step 3!" Rose says enthusiastically, oddly reminding me of a child who just got a present.

"Good good" Al chuckles "But I have to go make a potions essay, see you laters alligators."

Teehee.

"Oh my gaaaawd" Rose exclaims "Can you believe he really just said that?"

"Yeah" I say smiling brightly.

Her smile falls from her face faster than you can say Chocolate Fudge Brownie and she gets up and walks to the stairs while muttering something along the lines of either:

I should get some new friends or,

I want bananas for pants.

I'm pretty sure it's option 2.

"El. EL! ELEANOR RIGBY GET YOUR ARSE OUT OF BED RIGHT NOW!" Rose bellows.

Is she crazy? Not only is it Saturday but it is six am! SIX in the freaking morning!

"What am I supposed to do at SIX in the morning!"

"Getting ready for your date! Seriously do you have oatmeal for brains?"

Ew I hope I don't oatmeal is disgusting!

"Ew I hope not, I mean, wouldn't it run down my nose and all that jazz?"

She stares at me blankly.

"Rose! I brought the stuff you asked for." Comes the bright Barbie voice of one Dominique Weasley.

Oh no this is going to take a while.

So four and a half hours later they decided I looked decent enough to go on a date. I take that as a serious insult.

They tried to put me in all sorts of ridiculously short skirts. In bloody Scotland come on!

But now I'm wearing skinnies, a very low cut shirt from Dominique, and a scarf because I have some dignity. I decided not to tell them that I'm going to wear my coat so there was no point in getting all dressed up but well… Oh and guess what! I still have to wear heals.

When I walk down to the great hall I slid into the seat next to James because that's just what I do. He smiles at me and I feel myself blush. Jeez it's getting worse by the day! I used to be quite normal around him without turning all tomatofaced.

Then Rose pushes me over and plops on the bench between me and James. I pinch her viciously in the leg.

"What" She asks calmly

"Why did you do that!" I hiss at her.

"You can't sit next to James on the day of your date silly" She says smiling "Josh will get jealous he knows he's not half as goodlooking as James."

"Pfff, why did you say you think he's dreamy then while you never say that about James? "

"Because he's my cousin! Jeez El are you stupid?"

"You know that gossiping in company while not including other people who are sitting right next to you is very rude?" says the ridiculously handsome voice of James.

Yes voices can be handsome.

Then I hear another voice RIGHT beside my ear.

"Are you ready?"

"ROAAWR!"

I turn around and look at an extremely frightened Josh. James is grinning like crazy. He would put the Cheshire Cat to shame. What? I love Disney it's cool!

"Oh gosh Josh, heehee, I'm sorry! I just don't like it when people sneak up on me."

"It's cool, hey shall we just go down to Hogsmeade now? If you're done eating that is. Then we'll be able to play the guitar a little." He smiles gently

"Yes that'd be great I'm almost done here." I smile too "Rose stop drooling you're looking stupid, Fred and Louis just… don't BE stupid. James… keep Albus from scaring that girl he's been staring at all day. So I'm going now bye!"

James is looking angry when I grab Josh' hand. Mesa thinks morning munchmunch went well yes? What? Star Wars is cool! And Jar Jar Bings is the coolest!

**Disclaimer again: anything you may recognize belongs to either: JK Rowling, The Beatles, Ben and Jerry's or Disney. Everything listed above is cool =D **

**R+R? Please? **


	7. Chapter 7

My day at Hogsmeade with Josh went relatively well. He's actually a very nice and funny person, and I kind of feel bad for using him for my plan…

I laughed my arse off at his jokes all day and he taught me to play Blackbird on the guitar!

I'm skipping my way to the Gryffindor tower when I bump into someone.

"Hey watch where yo- Oh hey El!"

I look up and see James standing there. My brain totally farts and just leaves me so I don't say anything and I'm just gaping right now. What? I didn't see him all day! I have to get used to him again.

"How was your date?" he asks me looking a tad bit… tense?

"Oh it was _great, _Josh is sooo funny! And he taught me how to play Blackbird and-"

I cut myself off because James' eye is twitching, again in a very brotherly way.

"_so, _how was your day?" I ask him trying to change the topic.

"It was great, I have decided that we are going to change our training schedule"

"Oh great what's the change?"

"We're going to train e_very _evening now! Isn't that great!"

Uh oh he is going in to quidditchnazi mode right now. Distraction…

"Do you want to go get some Cookie Dough James?" I ask him quickly

He stops talking immediately and looks at me. "El" He begins slowly "you are one of the best persons in this whole entire world"

He takes a step towards me.

Oh my god! NO! James is way too close right now! And he's leaning in! what do I do!

"Do you know what's weird? People always ask like do you think the glass is half full, or half empty? But that's just a stupid question don't you think? Cause it's BOTH! I mean it is half empty cause you drank that half. And the other half is still full! Does that make me an optimist or a pessimist or- I don't even understand anymore!"

He just chuckles. I run

"Rose!" I yell as I run op the stairs to our dorm "ROOOOOOSE!"

"What's wrong now El?"

I start gushing about the latest events but because I ran through half of the castle I'm sort of hyperventilating.

"I think-gasp- that James-pant- just- pant- sort of- pant- might've- pant- maybe"

"Jeez El! Just spit it out already!"

"I think James just tried to kiss me!"

"Oh my god!" She squeels "how was it? What did he do?"

"Well…" I begin hesitantly "I sort of ran, I didn't know whether or not I should give in already, I only went on one date with Josh is that enough?"

Rose's eye is twitching like crazy.

"Are-you-_bloody KIDDING ME!"_

"Uhm no?" I ask hesitantly

"Screw the plan!" Rose screeches "He tried to kiss you! Are you completely wacko!"

"I'm sorry! You just got so mad the last time I didn't do what you wanted I just…"

"No it's cool" Rose says "Keep him sweating for a little. We are going to talk to Al about it later tonight. James will probably have told him his side of the story."

"So Al, we want to know something" I say while wiggling my eyebrows at him

"really and what's that?" he asks while eying me warily

"Did James say anything about El today?" Rose asks him impatiently

"Oh yeah… He said he was talking to you a while ago and that all of a sudden you just ran off. What is up with that?"

"She thought he tried to kiss her and ran off in panic"

"Hey I am totally here so I can speak for myself. I thought he tried to kiss me and I ran off in panic."

"Why did you think he wanted to kiss you?" Al asks while raising his eyebrow.

"He was totally leaning in!"

"As in leaning in when you are having an interesting conversation." Al asks

"Oh… Yeah that makes more sense" I am feeling rather sad now.

"Come on El! It's not so bad, at least he was interested in the conversation!" Rose pipes up

"Yeah or he is just being nice"

"You're not _helping _Al" Rose growls dangerously

"It's okay guys I'll just go upstairs now…" I walk up the stairs with my head hanging down and open the door to my dormitory. And then I slam it shut and run back to the common room while screeching

"ROOOOSE!"

"What is it El! Is there someone dead?"

"There is an owl on my bed."

She sighs deeply "I'll get it"

She walks upstairs and unties the letter from the owls creepy looking claws. Bet he killed lots of mice, that bastard.

"It's from Josh"

I squeal and snatch the letter from her.

_Dear El,_

_I had lots of fun today and I hope you did too. I really like you and I hope that we can do something together sometime this week?  
Maybe we could play the guitar again.  
Sweet dreams,_

_Josh_

Rose who has been reading the letter over my shoulder squeals loudly into my ear.

"Oh my gods he is so _cute_. It's a shame you are just using him to get James!"

"Yeah… Maybe we can let him and Dom hook up once James and I are married."

Rose stares blankly at me

"What? Please tell me I haven't grown a mustache!"

"No! It's just you had a good idea for once it's weird. Why would you have a mustache?"

"How am I supposed to know! Hey do you have wax-thingies? I want to wax my upperlip."

"Why on earth would I have such torturing supplies if I can totally do magic."

"Uhm… I don't know. It makes sense you don't though."

She smacks herself in the face. And she says I'm stupid! Why would you smack yourself in your face if you totally…. Can't!

I'll stop talking to myself now.

"You should talk things out with James before he thinks you're a complete wacko."

"Actually Rose." I say "I think that ship sailed long ago"

"Whatever, just go already! "

"James?"

"Oh hey El, what was up with you a little while ago?" He asks with a dazzling grin on his face

"Er… I totally forgot I had er… knitting class! Yeah that's it" I say. Wow that was the best excuse I ever made up… Merlin's lacy underwear! I just lied! To my future husband. _Oh my gawd what do I do!_

"I lied" I blurt out. Now he looks at me with an eyebrow raised. What do I say _now!_

"I had to go talk to… Rose very urgently." Hah that's true! Welcome back positive karmapoints.

"Oh? Why 's that?" Crap. Positive Karma Points suck apparently

"It was time for our weekly boytalk. And I forgot so I had to run" Great. Now we had to start weekly boytalk. Gross. If we don't watch out we might turn into girls!

"Watch out you don't turn into girls. I don't want squealing chasers on my team."

O my gods. James and I really are soulmates.

"I won't, promise" I say and I throw him a wink. Badass huh? Except I can't wink so it probably looked like quite the opposite of the sexy winks he has: a weird twitch with a wonky face.  
But he's not looking scared yet so it probably wasn't as bad as it felt and- oh my god he is looking right past me. I turn around and see a tall, leggy blonde.

Fuck my life.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

**Yet again I own nothing.**

Yay! We just won the first game against the puffers. I guess that isn't too much of an accomplishment but still. We won with 450-30. It's rather sad because the goals Hufflepuff scored went like this; Al scratching his nose, Al cleaning his glasses and last but not least Al scratching his nose _again_. 

James walks over to me saying "El you did _great_! I knew you could do it!" while enveloping me into a hug.

I melted a little because well… I fit into his arms perfectly! Then a hand grabs me and pulls me away.

I get pulled flush against someone's chest. I look up and see it's Josh. "Congratulations!" he says "Th-" I begin to say but he cuts me off with his lips.

Okay… I am having my first kiss right now and it feels… lazy. There is no other way to put it. His mouth his too hot and uncomfortable. And aren't you supposed to get dizzy and all that jazz?  
Instead I feel slightly nauseated. Well whatever. Maybe James will realize he is jealous by now and sweep me of my feet to some broomcloset to have his dirty way with me. What? You doubt that? Well… You suck!

His lips move against mine in a very, very, _very _slow way. I might just fall asleep and- Oh my god he just slipped his tongue in my mouth get it out!

I pull away and flat out refuse to look at Josh and observe Al instead. He is in an animated conversation with Lorcan Scamander and is staring adoringly at him… Wait a minute! The girl he was staring at the other day was sitting next to Lorcan and- Meh. Must be my imagination running wild I mean-

"El, would you please look at me? Did I do something wrong?" Josh is looking very nervous.

"No...No! Just a bit dazed that's all. I think I'll hit the showers" I give him a peck on the check and stride away.

I come out of the showers and James walks up to me.

"Hi El, we're having a Gryffindor victory party in our common room so hurry up and get dressed!"

Oh yeah did I mention I'm wearing nothing but a towel? I am.

"Aw sweet! Can Josh come too?" I ask excitedly

"I said _Gryffindor _victory party. No claws invited. Sorry" And he stalks of.

I walk outside and immediately get ambushed.

"Hey El… Err we kissed.. and I was wondering… if er…"

"Yes?" I ask impatiently

"Are we dating now?"

"Is that how you ask me to date you?"

"What? No! No I mean er…"

"I'm just messing with you hon. But I have to go it appears there is a party for me somewhere."

"Okay have fun." He kisses me on the lips and I walk off hurriedly.

Wait am I in a relationship now? This isn't fun. At all! What if I hurt his feelings! This just screams bad karma points!

I am walking through the hallways sulkily.

"Stay where you are!"

"Whaaaa- Who said that!"

"I did!" I look behind me and see a man in armor on a chubby little grey pony.

"You're a painting" I say in a monotone.

"Yes!" The armored man says

I turn around and walk away.

Wait. Is he following me? Darn that chubby pony is _fast! _How often do you get followed by annoying paintings on chubby ponies? Yeah thought so. This sucks royal hippogriff.

"Come back and fight me like a man you coward!"

"First off: I am a girl. Second I'm NOT a coward. Observe: ROOOAAAAAWR. Third I CAN'T fight you. _You're a painting!"_

"So?" He just won't bugger off will he?

"I'm going to leave you now" I say as I finally arrive at the portrait of the fat lady.

I walk in feeling relieved when I get ambushed by half of my house trying to congratulate me and to pat me on the back.

The evening is going by in a… blurry fashion. Everyone is either talking, dancing or passed out. I'm something in the middle of it all .

James is snogging some girl right now so I take that as my cue to leave and walk out of the common room.

I think I'll find some broomcloset to cry in peace now. Before the chubby-pony-dude decides to show up again.

I open the very first broomcloset I come across and see hold on you're going to love this: Al potter without a shirt on snogging Lorcan aga- O My Gaaaawd!

"Al what are you _doing!_"

They jump away from each other and are both very red in the face.

So I start squealing and I jump up and down while clapping my hands together. It's great fun you should try it sometimes. Cheers you up right away.

"Yay! You two are SO cute! But- Don't mind me! I'll be going. Just err... Get back to where you were! You kids have fun. Bye!"

I skip away leaving them absolutely baffled. Don't you just love doing that?

I bump into someone.

"Rose? Why aren't you at the party?"

"SHHHH! He'll hear you!"

"Who will?"

"Scorpius off course."

"Oh right. How stupid of me. How could I have forgotten that you are _stalking _him."

"I'm not!"

"Yes you are!"

"am not"

"are too"

"am not"

"am not"

"are too, shit"

"Weasley? Weirdo? What are you two doing here?"

"What are _You _doing here?" Oh great comeback Rose. We're in the dungeons! The cockroaches live here.

"Er.. My common room is down the hall"

Rose is spluttering now and turning a very unattractive shade of red.

So I hex Scorpius and pull her down the hall with me.

"What are you _doing"_ she asks me looking murderous.

"I'm saving you from a potentially awkward situation"

"It was already awkward and he is gonna hate us now!"

"Love, were in Gryffindor, you're a Weasley and I roared at him the other day so I'm pretty sure he already hates us."

"You did _what"_

After that I had to explain the entire situation to her and when we got back to the common room she decided to give this spectacular conversation a magnificent end

"I don't think our plan is working too well, did you see James snogging that girl? That looked tense."

Great.

**Wow can you believe the royal suckishness of this chapter? Me neither.  
Too bad it was on top of my to do list. **

**But you gotta love the avpm quote =D **


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 8

"Hi love" Josh says as he takes a seat next to me at the Gryffindor table. I guess it's alright that he sits here. Nobody has been that tense about sitting with your own houses anymore.

Josh casually slings his arm over my lower back.

"Move that hand one inch lower and I'll bite it off" Says James in a very casual voice. He didn't even look up from his plate!

Josh quickly retreats his arm. Gee I wonder why he didn't get sorted into Gryffindor.

"I've got to go, I have a study group meeting." Josh says, he gives me a sloppy kiss on the lips and leaves.

Fred and Louis slid into the seats next to me.  
"Wow, you really seem into him" Fred says, his voice dripping with sarcasm

"Give me a break guys, I'm not in the mood for this right now" Just as I say it I realize it's true. The plan's not working, I might end up hurting Josh and I can't find Rose! Where is that girl?

"El we're sorry we didn't mean it like that! Err… I'm sure he's nice. We didn't want to make you sad." So they noticed. I look around to see that James has already left. Without saying goodbye to me.

"It's not that guys…" It's just your cousin leaving without saying bye.

"Aw El, You're looking so down lately. How about you give us a smile and a good roar huh?" Louis says while smiling at me.

Tears promptly start falling. What? It's early and I'm very emotional in the morning! Once I cried because Rose asked me to pass the peanut butter. Stop looking at me like that. Peanut butter is disgusting!

"Shit dude! She's crying!"

"No shit Sherlock"

"Shut up Fred. Just make her stop before someone thinks we're harassing her!"

"Did you guys make El cry?" Says Rose from behind me. I blindly grab behind myself and hug her waist. I can only imagine the glares Fred and Louis are getting right now.

"No! Well… Yes.. But not on purpose!"

"Make El cry again and I'll rip your heads off." Rose says in a voice you talk in while talking to a baby.

A little while later when Rose and I are walking by ourselves I start talking.

"Rose, I can't do this anymore. I've got to quit things with Josh before he likes me too much!"

"Okay… I understand. But are you going to dump _him?_"

"No he'll have to do it. I can't."

"Okay… Do you have a plan to make him want to do that?"

"Well… Yeah! I was thinking that maybe I could grow antlers? Because that is very unattractive. Or maybe a mustache! Or maybe _both_!"

"Oh… Yeah I guess you could do that. But that seems like an awful lot of trouble if you can just sent my part veela cousin at him. She's been making calf eyes at him all week."

"Really? I didn't even notice."

"Of course you didn't you were too busy with making calf eyes at James to see someone ogling your boyfriend." Rose says with a hint of humor in her voice.

"Yeah… Well let's find Dominique then. By the way, where were you this morning?"

Rose turns bright red and starts spluttering. That's when I see a purple spot on her neck.

"Rose. You didn't! Is that a hickey!"

"Well… Yeah"

"Whose it from?"

Rose takes a deep breath. "Okay I'll tell you… You're not going to believe this but: !"

"Can you repeat that… In English?"

She sighs deeply "I dragged Scorpius in a broom closet and I snogged him."

"Err… Did he… want to do that? Because if he didn't I think it's called rape and abduction."

"Well… He wasn't complaining. I mean he gave me a hickey! See?" She pulls back her hair.

"_Yes _Rose I see! Now cover that up it's disgusting."

"Why? It's just a hickey."

"I know. It's more the thought of where it came from" I say with a calm smile on my face. As we walk around the corner we find Dom.

She was more than happy to comply. She's seducing Josh in the library this afternoon and make him owl me to break things up. And I'll be FREE! And feeling less guilty. That's good too.

_That night_

"AAAAAAH ROOOSE! It's an owl! Get it off! Getitoffgetitoff_getitoff!"_

"You know, if I didn't know you I'd never thought you were a Gryffindor."

"Gee thanks I love you too. Just give me the letter already!"

_Hi El, _

_I'm very sorry but… I kissed Dominique Weasley today. And… Well I feel really guilty but  
Dom and I really connected on a high level you know?  
So I'm sorry but I'm breaking up with you.  
I really hope we can stay friends because I do really like you. As a friend.  
No hard feelings? _

_Josh_

"Rose! It worked!" I squeal excitedly while once again bouncing up and down and clapping my hands together.

"Yes it did. But how are you and James ever gonna get together now?"

"I'm going to tell him how I feel." Rose promptly bursts out laughing.

"El. You and I both know you won't do that."

"I will! Because I'm a Gryffindor! And I'm courageous and all that jazz! And I'm going to down a bottle of firewhiskey before I go find him."

"Let's make that half a bottle of firewhiskey shall we? We don't want to get a repeat of last time."

"What last time?" I ask confused

"That's what I mean. Come on let's go to the kitchens."

"What? You mean _now?_"

"Yes _now. _Just come with me already El or are you chicken?"

"I'm _not"_ I can feel myself turning tomatofaced right now.

We walk down to the common room and I bump into James and before I can have second thoughts about it I say "James. We need to talk."

Rose is staring at me with wide eyes. Hehe. Surprised? Yeah me too.

"Okay" He says and we walk out of the common room.

"James… " I begin. I love saying his name. But what do I say now! Okay what I feel. I'll tell him what I feel.

"Josh broke up with me." I say after a long silence

"_What! _Why! Is he stupid?"

"No I sent Dom after him."

"Oh." James says "Why on earth would you do that?"

"Because…" I take a deep breath "I didn't like him that way. Because I'm already in love with someone else."

James face turns sad "Oh" He says sounding crestfallen.

"You see James. I've liked you for a very long time now. And nothing what I did seemed to be working and then Rose came up with this plan and-"

"Okay you can stop right there. Rose' plans are crazy" I look up into his face and see he's grinning like a maniak. So I smile back shyly. Does he like me too or what? He didn't say anything!

"El… I've liked you for a while now too. I just always thought I was so protective of you because I thought of you as a sister… But that wasn't true at all."

"So the plan _did _work! You found out!"

"No I found that out in our fourth year when Dylan Wood was ogling you."

"So that's how he got that black eye…"

Before I can say anything else, James crashes his lips onto mine and it feels _right_. He feels like we're made for one another as we move in perfect synchronization.

We walk back into the common room holding hands.

"Yes! YES! I knew this would happen!" Rose screeches

"That what would happen?" I ask innocently while squeezing James' hand.

"Don't play dumb with me El. You guys snogged! Your lips are all swollen and stuff!"

She pulls me away from James and into our dormitory. Ignoring all my squeaks of protest.

"What did you do that for! I wanted to kiss James goodnight!"

"We've got to make a plan! For how we're going to make him propose to you!" She adds after seeing the confused look on my face.

Here we go again.

THE END

**Finished. Yeah while writing this amazingly suckish chapter I decided I didn't want to write about this anymore. Therefore there is a cheesy end. **


End file.
